wow so life has been pretty complicated lately. jason wants nothing to do with me. and i am now in a relationship with someone who really makes me happy. i've just been so fucking paranoid ever since me and jason broke up that every guy i date i end up worrying about things 99% of the time that i don't enjoy myself. i'll have to work on that esp since he lives in the city.

things should be looking up i hope.

as of right now life sucks.

i don't know what to do.

so, i'm going out with joe. and i'm happy. and now today john ims me telling me that he loves me and he was going to ask me out today and that he doesn't believe i've done this to him. wtf? what did i do to him? if i remember correctly he's the one who didn't want to get back together after we broke up. and now that he wants to i'm such a bad person and have ruined his life? why can't everyone just leave me alone and let me try to be happy?

i can't wait until this semester is over. and i'm semi excited for christmas. it's gonna be weird not having jason there being that i had already picked out all his presents. oh well. i really hope things work out.